Being a mom is the most rewarding thing. People really should warn you before you have kids though. Kids are kinda gross and they do weird things. Along with all the hugs and kisses comes a lot of struggles. Kids can do things that make you question lots of stuff. I wish someone told me some of these things before I had kids. Here is my list of 25 realities of parenting.

2. No matter how hard you try, you will never cut the crusts off of your kid’s sandwiches “just the right way.”

3. Whoever invented shoelaces hates parents!

4. You will forever be amazed at what would be considered a weapon to your kids. *note that today it was a french fry.

5. Wet wipes are your new best friend.

6. “Don’t touch that” is the phrase of your life. The toilet, the lamp, their privates… All fair game to kids.

7. Someone will inevitably poop in the tub.

8. Someone will inevitably need a 2nd bath after you discover said someone pooped in the tub.

9. Do not be delusional and put your kids to bed late thinking they will sleep in. They will actually be up before daylight to torture you.

10. Everything is always sticky. So sticky. Don’t bother to try to figure out why.

11. Most of the day will be spent screaming at your kids to stop screaming.

12. A toddler can leave a path of destruction anywhere with just 1 cookie. Pretty impressive actually!

13. Ketchup is a necessary food group.

14. The words “I do it” will make you be late for every single thing in your life for the next 5 years.

15. Trips to the restaurant bathroom will be the majority of your dinnertime.

16. Poop will be part of every conversation basically.

17. Why is someone always naked?!

18. If you ever want your kids to sleep at night, do not let them fall asleep in the car after 5 pm. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Open the windows, turn the music up, whatever it takes!

19. Your kids can work your smartphone better than you can but they couldn’t possibly get themselves a glass of water because that’s too hard.

20. The struggle not to laugh when your child throws out an F-bomb is real.

22. 3rd-grade math will make you question your college education.

23. Kids consume all of their daily water intake 5 minutes before bedtime and then have an endless parade of bathroom visits all night long because they are “just so thirsty.”

24. The world is always ending and everyone needs you when you are either in the bathroom or on the phone. Otherwise, they could care less about you.

25. God made kids cute for a reason. Well played God.

This by no means is a complete list. There are so many more. But at least I have prepared you somewhat, right? This is your life for the next 18 years or so. Maybe invest in some good wine or beer. HaHa. Happy Parenting!!